Instructions on where to mail or fax your response are provided in the last paragraph of the ad. While faxing is fast, it spoils the appearance of your correspondence. By all means, fax your letter and resume if the ad says reply ASAP, you want to make a quick response or you think relatively few people will use this option (so you'll stand out from the crowd). Otherwise, mail your correspondence to highlight your use of a high quality printer and stationery. You'll present a professional image and perhaps stand out even more if you reply after the initial crush.
This recently appeared in a cover letter: "Please disregard my attached resume as it is woefully out of date."
Hardly destined to capture the attention of a prospective employer.
Inside Address
The address on the ad includes the title-but not the name-of the recipient of your letter. If you want to capture his attention, do some sleuthing to find it. In this case, you may only have to call information for Temple, Texas, ascertain the McLane Company's phone number, and ask the company's receptionist for the name of the employment manager. If this technique doesn't work, visit the library to review the references on U.S. company managers listed in the Appendix. Ideally your inside address should look like this:
Jane Rutledge (falsified name)
Employment Manager
McLane Company Inc.
P. O. Box 6115
Temple, TX 76503-6115
Greeting
Now that you know the employment manager's name, use it:
Dear Ms. Rutledge;
First Paragraph
A variety of library and on-line information sources carry extensive background data on many employers. For instance, just by consulting America Online I learned the following information about McLane;
- McLane and its sister subsidiary, Western Merchandisers, serve more than 30,000 convenience stores and independent grocers in the United States.
- In the 1970s, Wal-Mart, McLane's parent company, established highly automated distribution centers to cut shipping costs and time, and implemented an advanced computer system to track inventory and speed up checkout and reordering. No doubt McLane uses this system to great advantage versus its competition.
- Wal-Mart bought McLane in 1990.
- Wal-Mart EVP and McLane CEO/President is Joseph S. Hardin, Jr.
Sample First Paragraph
As an ardent admirer of Sam Walton, I've known for many years that Bill Clinton is not the only visionary from Arkansas. Watching Wal-Mart open a store in my hometown and offer us local citizens an array of merchandise beyond our imagination opened my eyes to the wonders of mass distribution, discount prices and retail innovation. In fact, it made such an impression on me, I pursued a career in retail. I see by your ad in the National Business Employment Weekly that the McLane Company, one of Wal-Mart's subsidiaries, is looking for a Human Resources Manager to help it grow beyond the more than 30,000 convenience stores and groceries it currently serves. Because of my admiration for your organization and my highly relevant experience, I think I am an excellent candidate for the position.
Second Paragraph
Your second paragraph should state specifically why you think a potential employer would want to interview you. Taking the information highlighted in the ad and combining it with a summary of a viable candidate's parallel accomplishments, a compelling case could be presented, as shown in the following paragraph.
Sample Second Paragraph
For the past six years, I've held increasingly responsible positions as human resources professional. I began my career as an assistant personnel manager at a large Sears store and was promoted to manager after 18 months. Three years ago, I accepted a position as Director of HR for Valucom (not a real company), another rapidly growing distributor of food products supplying large restaurant chains and franchises. At both Sears and Valucom, I served as an HR generalist and am consequently very familiar with all aspects of personnel functions including recruiting exempt and non-exempt employees, working with unions, selecting and/or designing technical and professional development training, employee relations and enhancement programs, organizational development and salary and benefits programs.
Last year I chaired a task force reporting to the President whose mandate was to find the optimal approach for maintaining Valucom's current level of health benefits while decreasing its rate of increase in premium costs. To date, we have held the increase to two percent, a substantial improvement over the past three years' seven percent annual increment.
At this point in your cover letter, you should have addressed the most important requirements in the ad. Let's check to see if our letter has accomplished this objective:
/ The McLane Company is one of the fastest growing firms in the United States.
/ It is the largest distributor of food products and general merchandise to convenience stores.
/ This position reports to the Division President.
/ This person is responsible for employment, salary and benefits administration, safety and training, employee relations, employee enhancement programs, and other HR-related duties.
/ An undergraduate degree and four years of progressive experience in HR is required.
/ There is a primary focus in controlling health insurance through plan design and administration.
Yes, we've hit all of the high points except for the degree, which will automatically be included in the resume.
Third Paragraph
Keeping in mind that you want to remain in the driver's seat, your third paragraph will look something like this:
Sample Third Paragraph
I m very enthusiastic about having an opportunity to discuss your management team's plans for the future and the human resources department's role in making those goals a reality. I will call you next week to confirm receipt of my resume and schedule a mutually convenient time for us to get together.
From a cover letter written by a New York-based job seeker: "My birthday is 9/25/94. I have extensive experience in administration and bookkeeping."
Talk about precocious; he'll be a CEO before he's even walking.
"While my work experience is scantiness, I am hard-working and highly motivated."
Actually, we were looking for someone well-suited to the position.
"My talent is at an inordinately high level and my ability to maintain accurate figures and meet deadlines is unspeakable."
At these extremes, some things are best left unsaid.
"In closing, let me outline the previous bookkeeping experience I've been able to endure."
A riveting story about man versus numbers.
Copy to the President
You know from your research that Joseph S. Hardin, Jr., is president and CEO of McLane. Why not send a cover letter and resume to him too? After all, he's the person who'll be making the final hiring decision. Just be sure to indicate on your original that you're sending a copy to the president. You don't want to alienate the employment manager-she may be reporting to you in the not-too- distant future.
Here's the letter in its entirety.
38 Ridge Road
Tuscaloosa, AL 35486
205-455-9976
July 6, 199X
Jane Rutledge (falsified name)
Employment Manager
McLane Company
P. O. Box 6115
Temple, TX 76503-6115
Dear Ms. Rutledge:
As an ardent admirer of Sam Walton, I have known for many years that Bill Clinton is not the only visionary from Arkansas. Watching Wal-Mart open a store in my hometown and offer us local citizens an array of merchandise beyond our imagination opened my eyes to the wonders of mass distribution, discount prices and retail innovation. In fact, it made such an impression on me, I pursued a career in retail. I see by your ad in the National Business Employment Weekly that the McLane Company, one of Wal-Mart's subsidiaries, is looking for an Human Resources Manager to help it grow beyond the more than 30,000 convenience stores and groceries it currently serves. Because of my admiration for your organization and my highly relevant experience, I think I am an excellent candidate for the position.
For the past six years, I've held increasingly responsible positions as human resources professional. I began my career as an assistant personnel manager at a large Sears store and was promoted to manager after 18 months. Three years ago I accepted a position as Director of HR for Valucom (not a real company), another rapidly growing distributor of food products supplying large restaurant chains and franchisers. At both Sears and Valucom, I served as an HR generalist and am consequently very familiar with all aspects of personnel functions including recruiting exempt and nonexempt employees, working with unions, selecting and/or designing technical and professional development training, employee relations and enhancement programs, organizational development and salary and benefit programs.
Last year I chaired a task force reporting to the President whose mandate was to find the optimal approach for maintaining Valucom's current level of health benefits while decreasing its rate of increase in premium costs. To date, we have held the increase to two percent, a substantial improvement over the past three years' seven percent annual increment.
I am very enthusiastic about having an opportunity to discuss your management team's plans for the future and the human resources department's role in making these goals a reality. I will call you next week to confirm receipt of my resume and schedule a mutually convenient time for us to get together.
Sincerely yours,
Bill Smithers
Enclosure
cc: Joseph S. Hardin, Jr.
Interpreting a Tougher Ad
The ad from McLane was quite easy to answer because it gave us lots of good information for a targeted cover letter. Unfortunately many ads aren't this forthcoming.
